Fringes and Beads and Tassels, Oh My...

As a manager, not many things get me too worked up.  You’d have to check with the people I work with to be sure, but I think I take most things in stride.  In fact, people have mistaken my lack of stress at work for me not caring enough about what’s going on.  I just believe that there’s always a solution, and it’s way easier to find it if you’re not freaking out.

There is one thing, and in the grand scheme of things it’s a pretty small thing, that can get me fired up at work.  It’s evidence that good sense to one person is obviously not good sense to another.  It’s further proof that unless there is a full and clear explanation, that when left to our own devices, we interpret things in our own way.  I’m talking of course about four of the most misunderstood words in business today.  Business Casual Dress Code.

As my kids now write, ohemgee.  OMG people have idea how to interpret a couple of very simple words.   Business Casual.   In almost every job I’ve ever had as a manager I’ve had to spend time managing the dress code, and moreover, managing people’s understanding of the dress code.  There are times when I’ve wanted to laugh, and times when I’ve wanted to cry.

I have read, and worse, written, more dress codes than I care to think about.  In what world is it OK to ever show up to work in an office wearing a belly shirt with fringes and beads?  This, in a company with not just a documented dress code, but one that is posted in the lunch room.  I remember very clearly the exact wording from the policy:  "If you would wear it to the beach, a backyard bbq, or a dance club, it’s likely not an appropriate choice for the office."

Not a good look for the office.  Or anywhere for that matter

I once worked for an upscale national hotel chain where the uniform policy was so strict that they checked the polish on our shoes.  They made sure that the ladies’ skirts were just the right distance from the knee.  Today, however, it seems acceptable if the skirts barely cover the butt cheeks.  I remember showing up to work the night shift one evening. It was a quiet night, and I was unlikely to encounter a guest, never mind someone from the hotel's uniform squad.  As I was getting changed in the locker room, I realized that I did not have a dark pair of socks to wear.  All I had was my white tube socks. I was so distraught that I would be out of uniform that I raced out of the hotel looking for a place to buy a pair of socks.  

In 1995 there was nowhere in downtown Ottawa to buy a pair of socks at 10:30 on a Sunday night (I'm sure that's still true), so my frantic journey led me to Shopper’s Drug Mart, where I had no choice but to proudly buy two pairs of silky black knee-high panty hose.  I went back to the hotel and put on these knee highs, two pairs at once so they didn’t look so see-through, I put on my pants and my shoes and worked my shift wearing panty hose so I wouldn’t appear to be not following the dress code.  Incidentally, it was kind of a nice feeling, although I had some blisters by the end of my shift.  Things have clearly changed.  Today it's a victory if everyone’s wearing gitch and they’ve got their cleavage and their pierced belly buttons covered up.  I am no prude.  I enjoy cleavage as much as the next guy, but let’s keep the twins in check at the office, right?

I recall for years having this sense of dread as the seasons would change.  We would have just settled into a nice understanding of what was acceptable and what was not as far as appropriate clothing at the office was concerned, and whammo, all of a sudden it’s summer and the dress code train was off the rails again.  I once got a gift from one of my team members, a custom T-Shirt emblazoned with the top 5 ‘Slaterisms’-the things I said a lot.  The number one ‘Slaterism’ was “If you don’t wear your spaghetti straps, I won’t wear my thong.”  I guess after a few years of saying that in meetings people started to catch on (or at least feel comfortable mocking me about it right to my face).  I've said it so often that on two different occasions I’ve received thongs as gag Christmas gifts from members of my teams.

Trust me, the other option was a picture of me in a thong.  I made the right decision here.  We all know it.

The whole idea of a dress code is really interesting (to me, anyway).  In some cases where there is a documented dress code you can spend your life trying to get people to follow the policy, with little success.  In other cases, where there is no organization, let alone documentation, people just know.  I travel for work a lot.  I’ve spent a lot of time in airports in Canada and in the US.  The next time you’re in the airport on Sunday afternoon or evening, take a look at the men.  We look like a bunch of refugees from Stepford.  We all look the damn same.

Somehow in the road-warrior's psyche, we’re wired to know that on Sundays at the airport we wear jeans, loafers, a dress shirt and a suit jacket.  I know why we do it- because science has yet to invent a way to jam a suit jacket into a suitcase (a complete misnomer, incidentally) and have it arrive at your destination in a wearable state-but I get a kick out of being part of a flock of identically dressed sheep at the airport every week.   Sometimes the really cool hipster type business dudes don’t tuck their dress shirts into their jeans.  This is not a look I can usually pull off, by the way.

The Sunday Uniform

I resisted the Sunday uniform for a long time, but I now do it because I’ve unsuccessfully tried many different ways to make my suit wearable after it’s been inside my suitcase, including hanging it up in the bathroom of the hotel and turning the shower on hot in an effort to steam the thing.  One time at a hotel (sorry again to my friends at the Delta Fredericton) I put the suit in the bathroom, turned on the water to steam it, and fell asleep, waking up about 9 hours later.  I’m sure there was no hot water left in the hotel, my entire bathroom was soaked from steam and condensation, and there was in fact paint peeling from the bathroom ceiling.   My suit was absolutely soaked, so it’s a good thing I didn’t need it until the next day.

Under the heading, "Men are Sheep", I’ve also had many occasions to go to meetings in the United States.  People in the US have a much clearer understanding of what business casual means, especially the men.  If you go to a meeting in the US and the dress code is business casual, pack the following articles of clothing if you plan to fit in.  You need a blue oxford button down shirt.  You need a pair of khaki pants.  Dress pants, not chinos.  You need a pair of oxblood coloured penny loafers and you need a navy blue blazer.  If you wanna throw caution into the wind, bring a nifty pocket hanky or a cool pair of socks with some design, or even loafers with tassels, but for God’s sake don’t deviate from main components.  That is unless you want to stick out like a sore thumb.  This is not as true in Canada, but it’s pretty much a business requirement south of the border.

If you're an American businessman, you know exactly where to go to buy this outfit.  I have one too. 

The thought process involved in deciding what to wear to work is really interesting.  Some of us dress to fit in, and some to stick out.  Taste is a really personal thing, I guess, and in writing this, I’m pleading more than I’m ranting…unless your job involves a pole, it’s a good bet that the fringe and the beads should not form part of your work wardrobe.  And please, don’t make me wear my thong.  Nobody wants that.  Really.