Holiday Poem 2015 Best Wishes from the Slaters

It’s just days before Christmas

And it’s time to reflect;

As the presents get wrapped

And halls become decked.

So much has transpired

Since I last wrote this poem;

The pace is so harried

Both at work and at home.

But instead of lamenting

How fast all the time goes;

Things that make me smile wide

Shall fill the lines of this prose

My three lovely offspring

Who fill my life with such joy;

Won’t make Daddy so happy

When they bring home the first boy.

Our oldest is Haley,

Smart, gorgeous and tall;

Amazed on the golf team

Man, can she crush a ball!

Our next one is Ainsley

An entrepreneur all the way;

She’ll do whatever you ask

As long as there’s pay.

And Maddie’s the last

A strong will, lots of might;

She’s sassy and sweet

And she’ll win every fight.

These three lovely ladies

Can be both wicked and nice;

And because of these girls

Our life’s chock full of spice.

And the best of my bunch

Is their mother, my wife;

Laura’s funny and smart

And as sharp as a knife.

She works super long hours

To make our family shine;

She inspires our brood

And slaps me back into line.

When I look at our world

So much gloom and such strife;

I just think of these ladies

And I cherish my life.

The best of the season

To your family and you;

Merry Christmas and such

From me and my crew.

To wrap up this poem

A small dream I will share;

With world peace up for grabs

One final thought, if I dare…

The New Year is coming

And with joy will I jump;

If our friends cross the border

Can dump that chump Trump.

Best Wishes from Sean, Laura, Haley, Ainsley and Madeline

Dedicated to the memory of Janet Novak...a very sweet lady.

Namaste, baby!

I recently decided that my exercise routine needed a bit of a boost...a little something different to keep things interesting.  My lovely wife Laura took up yoga a couple of months ago, so I decided that I would join her on Sunday mornings at the gym with Jessie, a friendly yoga instructor who takes her yoga practice seriously, but doesn't take herself too seriously.  Sounded like a fit to me, so off we went.

In the first class, I decided to take a place on the floor as far away from Laura as possible, so as not to embarrass her with any of my less-than-proficient newby yoga moves.  I walked into the room, and with as much stealth as a jaguar, took my spot in a far corner. Far from Jessie, and even farther from Laura.  I rolled out a borrowed mat, crossed my legs and tried to look like I belonged there.  My plan went completely to hell when Jessie called me out as a new person, then proceeded to spend the next 5 minutes, talking directly to me, in front of the rest of the class.  Cover blown.  All eyes on the chubby new dude.  Awesome.

Just trying to blend into the background.  #epicfail

So class number one went relatively well.  I will say that I spent the entire time focused on not falling over versus on my breathing.  I'm not sure that I ever once 'invited the breath in'...in fact, I was doing all I could to stop it from escaping.  Some poses were pretty OK, and others, WTF?  Is the human body supposed to bend like that?  Holy man. Anyway, the hour ended, and on the ride home, Laura seemed a little miffed that I positioned myself so far away from her.

At my second class, a week later, I decided to roll out my borrowed mat right beside my lovely bride. I was completely amazed and wildly impressed that she is so limber.  This chick can bend in half at the waist and put her forehead on her shins. She can lay on her back and bring her shin to her nose.  Who knew?  As the class progressed, I was very focused again on not falling over, and on trying to remember to breathe.  About 15 minutes in, I was attempting some twisted maneuver that involved a crazy lunge, one hand on the ground and another in the air, when out of nowhere, I hear, "Pssst...Pssst...Psst."  I looked around to catch the gaze of my lovely wife who then informed me in an angry whisper that I was doing it all wrong. Argh. 

Umm...no.

The pssst-ing went on for another 10 minutes or so.  I knew I was doing it wrong, but I just couldn't quite get into the required position, so I either bent my knees, or dropped a knee, or backed off a stretch.  Laura, thinking she was helping me, was just stressing me out. On top of sweaty and groany, I was now pissed off. I may be the only person in the history of yoga to actually growl. Gandhi would have been so proud. Eventually, she stopped trying to correct me.  On the ride home, she looked right at me and said, "It looked like you didn't really achieve a state of serenity at yoga today, honey."  I pulled the car over and left her at the side of the road. OOOOhhhm.  Serenity now. Serenity now.

I now own my own mat and I like going on Sunday mornings.  I feel pretty good when I'm doing it, and I feel really good after.  I still don't do very well, but I'm getting there. There are poses I like and poses I dread.  I do like the 'rock and rolls', where you roll your legs back over your head.  Perhaps it's the frat boy inside of me, but when somebody inevitably passes wind during a rock and roll (last week someone let a really loud one go), I'm amazed that the entire room doesn't erupt in laughter. 

Check out this video: "If Gandhi Took a Yoga Class" It's funny, but there's a bit of swearing

Namaste, baby.

All Tech'd Out and Ready to Go

It's mid-January and we're firmly in the midst of the post-holiday season hangover.  The tree is gone (much to the delight of the kids), but the lights are still up because it's too cold to go up on the roof to take them down.  The gifts are all either being used or worn, and based on how much yelling my lovely children are doing, the holiday spirit is definitely in the rear-view mirror. 

I made out like a bandit this Christmas. As usual, Laura shopped like a pro and I came away from the holidays with all kinds of new clothes, toys, and as usual, some very cool wearable tech. She's a great shopper, and she knows exactly what I like. I buy her jewelry and she buys me tech. This year I got a new battery pack for my phone (because she's tired of me not answering because my battery is dead), a Jawbone UP bracelet that tracks my movements (because I sit too much), and a cool Martian watch that connects to my phone and displays my text messages right on my wrist (because she doesn't like it when I miss her texts). 

I love my new Martian Notifier...I'll never miss another thing.

On my left wrist I have my new watch.  It's pretty awesome.  It will find my phone for me, take a picture using my phone, act as a flashlight, and display my texts, emails, and any notifications coming from my phone. I'm not sure, but it may also tell me the time.  I love this little piece of technology.  It vibrates to let me know that something interesting is going on that requires my attention. Under the watch face, it's got a small screen that scrolls my messages.

On my right wrist I'm wearing my new Jawbone bracelet.  This fantastic thing monitors my movements all day long and counts my steps.  It measures the intensity of my movements, and it even tells me how long I'm sleeping and how good a sleep I've had. Thank God for that, because I've always wondered if I've had a good night's sleep or not. It's pretty accurate-when I wake up feeling good and well rested, my Jawbone knows it and congratulates me for a job well done. It also gives me little buzzing reminders to that I've been sitting for too long and that it's time to move around a little. 

A tiny little thing that knows so much. 

All of these devices make my phone the centre of my universe.  The Jawbone communicates with me via an app...  The app tells me how much I've moved, how well I've slept, and how I compare to the rest of the Jawbone universe.  I was happy to learn that at least one week I was in the top 10% of male Jawbone users in my age category. Great news.  Or maybe there are only 8 men wearing Jawbone bracelets in my age group. Or maybe all middle aged dudes (that's the first time I've ever referred to myself as middle aged) just sit around.  Either way, I felt good that day. My watch uses an app on my phone to gather all the meaningful stuff going on in my various inboxes to share with me on my wrist.  Good work, Apple and Google, if the phone wasn't already important, it's now downright indispensable.

The down-side of this amazing tech is all the buzzing.  I'm constantly buzzing.  My phone buzzes in my pocket.  My watch buzzes when I've got a message, and my Jawbone buzzes to say, "...hey chubby, get off your ass and move around!"  Sometimes there is a delay in my phone getting the messages to my watch, so I'll get about 10 messages buzzing at once.  If that happens when my Jawbone decides to talk to me, and when my phone has something to say, it feels a bit like I'm in the electric chair...I'm a walking vibrator.

If you want a shock or a buzz, just get a Martian, and Jawbone and an iPhone and save the hospital visit

So now I have no excuse to not know what's going on.  I am so well connected to the digital universe that I should never miss a thing.  The only thing is that occasionally I'll catch someone looking at me when I'm vibrating. It's supposed to be discreet, but when all the devices buzz at the same time, people notice. And they wonder. But I don't tell.  I just smile.  And buzz. And buzz.  And buzz.