Seriously? You have no cash?

If you’ve been following along, we’ve established that I’m a pretty avid business traveler.  For the last two years, I’ve traveled somewhere every single week.  I’ve almost exclusively traveled in Canada, but I’ve covered the country pretty well.  In the last two years, whether on personal or business trips, I’ve been to every province in the country.  Based on that, I can tell you that there are many differences between cities and region.

Johnny's been everywhere, man.  Me too.  Click to hear Johnny's version of Hank Snow's classic.

For example, in Saskatoon, I can, without any fear, drive down the street and stop at any customer site and pop in to say hello.   Even without an appointment I can be reasonably sure that I’m going to get a warm welcome.  In Halifax, there may even be a hug involved.   In Calgary, I get a warm western welcome, but they’re a little suspicious, as in, “…Um hi…how are you?  Why are you here?”  Toronto is a completely different story.  Not only does the receptionist look at me disdainfully, he or she will most likely not even call my client to see if they have a moment to see me.  “Um, well, you don’t have an appointment, and she couldn’t possibly have time to see you.   Come back when you have an appointment.”  And with that, I’m dismissed to the street.  My client doesn’t even know I was there.

Really?  You think you can just walk right in here?  Who do you think you are? 

The service at airports often reflects the region, as does the hotel service.  Car rental people are a pretty good gauge as to how people are going to be in the city.  The same is absolutely not true of cab drivers.  Now I can speak about this because for a couple of years, in a small town in Alberta, I drove a cab as a part-time job.  I’ll say up front that I absolutely loved it.  In that small town, people would just fall into the cab, sometimes drunk, and just expect that you knew where they were going.  “OK, Mr. Mayor, I’ll take you home.  I’ll wake you when we get there.”

You're the mayor of what?

In Vancouver the cab drivers are chatty.  They are fiercely proud of the Canucks and they like to talk about your day.  In Winnipeg, taxi drivers ride the brake.  A drive down Portage Avenue can give you whiplash…stop, go, stop, go, stop, go.  And trust me when I say that there’s no reason for all the braking.  Winnipeg cabbies also sit behind a big plexiglass shield that wraps around them for their safety.  It also takes up a huge amount of the back seat, and I’ve had my 6’2 frame wedged behind a Winnipeg cabbie more than once.  That sounds dirtier than it was meant to.  In most cities cabbies actually shut the meter off when you arrive at your destination.  In Montreal, they don’t shut it off ’til they’re damn well ready to.  No sense arguing.

Imagine getting jammed behind that thing.

Across all my trips, there’s one universal truth that I’ve discovered, and that’s that cab drivers, whether in Fredericton, NB or Kelowna, BC, or downtown Toronto, are allergic to plastic.  No cabbie wants you to pay with a credit card.  I’ve had some who pretend that they don’t know how to work the machine.  I’ve had some completely lose the ability to communicate in English at the mere sound of a card coming out of my wallet, and I actually watched one pull the cord out of the machine and tell me that it wasn’t working.   My favourite question from a cab driver is “Why don’t you have cash?” 

There's a Taxi Driver you don't wanna mess with.  He wants cash, you give him cash.

My practice is now to set it up before I even get in the car, making sure that they accept credit before giving custody of my luggage to the driver.  When I call for a cab, I make sure to arrange in advance that they’re going to take a credit card.  Neither of these has been foolproof since after using both of these methods, I’ve arrived at my destination just to hear those magic words, “What, no cash?”  

No, I don't have cash.  is that a crime?

For God’s sake, it’s a plastic world and I’m a debit man.  I’ve been known to buy a Slurpee with my debit card.  Where am I going to come up with 56.00 in cash for a taxi ride from the airport when I don’t even have a toonie for a double-double?

Apparently having this sign in the cab window doesn't mean you can actually pay with one of these cards.
Who knew?