Out of 26 Letters in the Alphabet, How Did 2 of Them Get So Important?

I’ve had a mistress for the last 10 years.  She’s gotten progressively sexier over the time we’ve known each other.  She does more for me now than when we met.  She used to be a bit boxy, and she definitely weighed me down, but now, she’s beautiful and sleek.  Who is this divine creature?  My blackberry, of course.  (Where did you think I was going with this?)

Not sexy Jessica Rabbit, silly, my mistress is my blackberry

We visited my Dad over the weekend, and the subject turned to new mobile devices.  He’s just about ready to trade in his flip phone (yep, somebody still has a flip phone) for a smartphone.  The question of course centred around whether he should get an iPhone, a Blackberry, or an Android phone.  I think you know where I came out on this subject.

No, Dad, there's no send key.

As I was valiantly trying to make the case for my friends in Waterloo, I found myself wondering what exactly it is about the blackberry that keeps me so addicted.  I can get email on any device, and I can text on any device.  Both Android and iPhone arguably have better apps, and a case could be made that both of those devices are sexier and more cutting edge.  So why am I still carrying a torch for my, well, Torch?

I love it...there, I said it.

I keep saying that it’s all about the keyboard.  There is no way that I could manage my email on a virtual keyboard.  That, even I think, is a fairly lame excuse.  First, many Android devices have keyboards.  Second, I think that when it comes to the virtual keyboard, it’s all about getting used to it.  I have a virtual keyboard on my torch, but I never use it, because I don’t have to.  I have a virtual keyboard on my iPad (inherited from my lovely wife when she upgraded), and frankly, I really don’t like it, but I use it, and I manage to spell most of the words right.

Virtual keyboards.  Argh.

So if I can get past that big excuse, what exactly am I left with?  The blackberry is not widely regarded as the best telephone (it’s improved for sure over the years, but I still drop a lot of calls), and who actually makes lots of calls anymore anyway?   It’s no longer even considered cutting edge.  In fact, people look at you like you’re a bit of a fuddy-duddy (that’s right, I said it) when you whip it out in crowd.  So why do I do it?

Say it ain't so...blackberries out of vogue? 

You want to know the answer?  It’s BBM.  Blackberry messaging.  I get that it’s just like texting.  But it’s not.  Not one little bit.  First, nobody pays by the message for BBMS.  I can BBM to my heart’s content and all I’m using is data…and not very much of that.  I can text beyond the limited number of characters allowed in SMS texting without the system breaking up my messages.  I can send a voice message, a video message, a picture message, and I can set up a group.  I can even scan you to add you to my list.

BBM...I love you Mike and Jim

But that’s still not it.  I text with my daughters and lots of other non blackberrians and I live.  I still have not forgiven my lovely wife for trading her blackberry in for an iPhone (traitor), but somehow we’ve managed to stay together.  One by one my friends are abandoning their blackberries for other devices, and I manage to stay in contact.  But the reality is that I just don’t like it.  Jim and Mike got me hooked on BBM, and now I can’t give it up.  This weekend I finally figured out what it is, as I was teaching my dad to text on his flip phone (yikes).  It’s about two letters.  D and R.

If you’re a true blackberrian you know what I’m talking about when I talk about D and R.  If you’re not, you have no idea what I’m saying, but trust me, my friends, you have no idea what you’re missing.  When you send somebody a BBM, and it hits their device, a little ‘D’ pops up beside the message on your phone.  It’s ‘D’elivered.  You know that your message is no longer bouncing around cyberspace, and it’s ready on their blackberry for them to read.  They now have a flashing red light announcing your message.

Notice the magic R and D

Once they pick up their device and read your message, that little ‘D’ turns to ‘R’…’R’ead, or ‘R’eceived.  At that point, I know that the person I’ve BBM’d has received and read my message.  Now I get to wait for the response.  I’m sure it all comes down to my inner control freak nature.  When I send a BBM, I know when it’s arrived, and I know when it’s been read.  When I send a text, who knows?  I could be bouncing from satellite to satellite for hours and I’m sitting around waiting on a response.  So yes…I know if I’ve BBM’d you and you’re ignoring me.  If you’ve read it, I know it.  That’s what makes me love my blackberry, and it’s what makes me not want to give it up.  It’s the knowledge that my BBM has been read.

Is that my text message up there?

 

So in the big picture, it’s really three things that keep me in love with my sleek and sexy mistress.  First it’s the keyboard.   I know it’s not a great reason, but it’s a good one.  It’s as much about what I’m used to as anything else, and I’m just not that into change.  Especially when I like something.  

Please, Please, Please don't make me give it up

Second, it’s that soothing flashing red light.  I’ve written about its impact on me before, and it hasn’t changed.  There’s something special about that red light.  Once,  I downloaded an app that allowed me to change the colour of the flashing red light for different people, or different programs.  I thought it would be cool, but really it just stressed me out.  I missed the red light, and within a day, the app was deleted.  I know that other people are driven crazy by the incessant flashing of the red light, but not me.  It calms me.

The right light...a stronger pull than the bat signal

 And finally, it’s those BBMs.  I love that application, and I don’t want to lose it.  I love its functionality, its ease of use, and most of all I love that I can tell who’s read my messages and who’s ignoring me.   When I text, I feel like a fish out of water.  When I BBM, it’s home sweet home.

Please Thorsten (he’s the new dude at the helm of RIM)…whatever happens to the company, make sure that the BBMs and the flashing red lights never go away.  Take my keyboard if you have to, but at least leave me the D and the R.

Thorsten Heins...the dude to whom they've entrusted the future of my flashing red light.  Don't screw it up, Thor.  Can I call you Thor?