All Tech'd Out and Ready to Go

It's mid-January and we're firmly in the midst of the post-holiday season hangover.  The tree is gone (much to the delight of the kids), but the lights are still up because it's too cold to go up on the roof to take them down.  The gifts are all either being used or worn, and based on how much yelling my lovely children are doing, the holiday spirit is definitely in the rear-view mirror. 

I made out like a bandit this Christmas. As usual, Laura shopped like a pro and I came away from the holidays with all kinds of new clothes, toys, and as usual, some very cool wearable tech. She's a great shopper, and she knows exactly what I like. I buy her jewelry and she buys me tech. This year I got a new battery pack for my phone (because she's tired of me not answering because my battery is dead), a Jawbone UP bracelet that tracks my movements (because I sit too much), and a cool Martian watch that connects to my phone and displays my text messages right on my wrist (because she doesn't like it when I miss her texts). 

I love my new Martian Notifier...I'll never miss another thing.

On my left wrist I have my new watch.  It's pretty awesome.  It will find my phone for me, take a picture using my phone, act as a flashlight, and display my texts, emails, and any notifications coming from my phone. I'm not sure, but it may also tell me the time.  I love this little piece of technology.  It vibrates to let me know that something interesting is going on that requires my attention. Under the watch face, it's got a small screen that scrolls my messages.

On my right wrist I'm wearing my new Jawbone bracelet.  This fantastic thing monitors my movements all day long and counts my steps.  It measures the intensity of my movements, and it even tells me how long I'm sleeping and how good a sleep I've had. Thank God for that, because I've always wondered if I've had a good night's sleep or not. It's pretty accurate-when I wake up feeling good and well rested, my Jawbone knows it and congratulates me for a job well done. It also gives me little buzzing reminders to that I've been sitting for too long and that it's time to move around a little. 

A tiny little thing that knows so much. 

All of these devices make my phone the centre of my universe.  The Jawbone communicates with me via an app...  The app tells me how much I've moved, how well I've slept, and how I compare to the rest of the Jawbone universe.  I was happy to learn that at least one week I was in the top 10% of male Jawbone users in my age category. Great news.  Or maybe there are only 8 men wearing Jawbone bracelets in my age group. Or maybe all middle aged dudes (that's the first time I've ever referred to myself as middle aged) just sit around.  Either way, I felt good that day. My watch uses an app on my phone to gather all the meaningful stuff going on in my various inboxes to share with me on my wrist.  Good work, Apple and Google, if the phone wasn't already important, it's now downright indispensable.

The down-side of this amazing tech is all the buzzing.  I'm constantly buzzing.  My phone buzzes in my pocket.  My watch buzzes when I've got a message, and my Jawbone buzzes to say, "...hey chubby, get off your ass and move around!"  Sometimes there is a delay in my phone getting the messages to my watch, so I'll get about 10 messages buzzing at once.  If that happens when my Jawbone decides to talk to me, and when my phone has something to say, it feels a bit like I'm in the electric chair...I'm a walking vibrator.

If you want a shock or a buzz, just get a Martian, and Jawbone and an iPhone and save the hospital visit

So now I have no excuse to not know what's going on.  I am so well connected to the digital universe that I should never miss a thing.  The only thing is that occasionally I'll catch someone looking at me when I'm vibrating. It's supposed to be discreet, but when all the devices buzz at the same time, people notice. And they wonder. But I don't tell.  I just smile.  And buzz. And buzz.  And buzz.