I love numbers. My grade 10 math teacher, Mr. Brunetti would
flip his lid if he heard me say that. He
gave me a 59 at the end of the first term, and wrote three words on my report
card that I’ll never forget…”It’s a struggle.”
He was right. It was a struggle. I struggled to come to his class everyday and
sit there and learn about Pythagoras and his tricky little theorem. I struggled to understand the importance of
tangents and cosines. I struggled to
understand when and how knowing that to calculate the area of a circle it’s Pi
R squared. WTF. Who needs to know that?
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| I'm grateful that somebody knows how to calculate the area of a circle...but it doesn't have to be me. |
Maybe it’s really data that I love. It’s not the numbers so much as the story
they tell. Once I got to work and
understood that numbers tell stories and that they’re clues to other things,
math became much less of a struggle for me.
Numbers became the basis of P&L statements, budgets,
marketing plans, compensation plans.
They are clearly the foundation on which business is built, and on which it survives. Now that’s a story that I don’t have to
struggle so much with.
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| You can't love me, Data, but I sure love you. |
As a father, I find myself trying to
explain why fractions and algebra are important to my thirteen year old. The only thing I can tell her is that without
really thinking about it, I use math every single day. Now, to be certain, I’m not measuring the
angles of isosceles triangles, but every day, it’s math, math, math. And some days, it’s still a struggle. Damn you, Brunetti.
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| Algebra humour. Who knew? |
I was helping Haley with her algebra
homework yesterday (flip, Brunetti, flip!), and I was surprised how fast it
came back (after a little traipse through the interweb). Crap, if we would have had the internet when
I was in grade 10, it sure wouldn’t have been so much of a struggle. So, the ease at which simple algebra came
back to me leads me to believe that there must be some application of algebra
in my day-to-day life. Then it struck
me…every day at work, we solve for x. Clearly,
I’m now an algebra freak! I had a boss
once that said to me, “…it’s all ones and zeroes…” in some lame geeky reference
to binary code. Who knew that work
would be all about binary code and solving for freaking X. I would have paid more attention. Turns out, again, those ones and zeroes and x’s
and y’s tell the story. Like most
things, it comes down to the data…and more importantly, what it’s telling you.
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| Can life really be reduced to a series of ones and zeroes? |
X=223,412. That’s the current balance in my frequent
flier account. The last time I shared
the balance with you, it was 100,240, almost exactly one year ago today. In one year my balance has more than doubled
(wish I could say that about my retirement account). To use a math term, the delta (that's math-speak for 'change') is
about 123,000 miles. So what does that
data tell us? First, that I travel too
freakin’ much. Second, that I’m pretty
loyal to Air Canada (many wouldn’t be, but I am), and third, that I’m chasing
status (you know how much my Elite status means to me, and I’m on track to hit
Super Elite this year).
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| Where you gonna go with all those miles? |
Here’s what I learned about 223,412 Air
Canada frequent flier miles. You would
think that I could travel the globe for free on 223,412 miles. Not so fast, sport. I thought that a nice trip to Europe would be
just the ticket for my family, who has, for the most part, taken my crazy
travel schedule in stride without complaining.
So I dialed up Air Canada on the world wide web and started the travel
planning. I found 5 flights that took us
to Paris, and returned us to Toronto via Dublin. It took some figuring and playing with dates
and times to make it all happen, but I did it.
5 flights in my shopping cart.
Success? Not so much.
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| We were gonna be the Griswalds. Hmmph. |
“Click to go to next step” are words
that would make you think you’re making progress, right? That in the next step you’re going to be
printing off tickets for your most awesome family trip. Wrong again, sport. This is the point where you pay the fees and
taxes for your free trip.
$4,873.00. For free f***ing
tickets. As it turns out, although you
get the seat for free, you still need to pay for the gas. Thank
you, Mr. Slater for your loyalty to our airline, just deposit five grand and
we’ll send you some free tickets.
#FAIL. (That’s a twitter term for
something that blows.) No tix to Europe
for us. I expected to pay some security
tax, but I didn’t think I’d be personally responsible for funding the Eurozone
Bailout. X=WTF?
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| Greek Rioters, or other people trying to book free flights on Air Canada? |
502.
89. 17. That’s the number of connections I have on
Linkedin, the number of friends I have on Facebook, and the pitiful number of
people who feel like I have anything of any value to contribute to the
Twitterverse. Now, you’ll recall that I
set myself a goal earlier this year to exceed 500 Linkedin connections, only
people I know, and I achieved it last week.
It was a sadly exciting moment. I
mean, what does that data tell you? It
tells you that of all the social media programs, I’m most addicted to
Linkedin. Between you and me, I’m as
addicted to Linkedin as I am to that bloody flashing red light on my blackberry. Don’t even get me started. And for crying out loud, Sarah Palin has
843,345 twitter followers and she hasn’t said anything good for like, ever.
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| Yep...this is how Sarah chooses to use her national soapbox... |
23.
That’s how many frequent flier, car rental loyalty, and frequent guest
programs I belong to. Because I’m loyal
to Air Canada and Marriott, I carry around 21 cards in my wallet that I never
take out. It’s no wonder my lower back
hurts on one side and I walk with a limp.
It hurts to sit on my big ass wallet. Of the dozen or so other hotel programs that I
belong to, I’m sure I don’t have enough points between them to get one free
night at a Motel 6. Westjet keeps
sending me an email with an update to my Westjet Dollars account. X=1.
One Westjet dollar. I don’t even
know how you get one Westjet dollar.
Clearly a pity buck.
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| Click here to see George's exploding wallet in action. That's how I feel. |
153,553. That’s the number of points I have in my
Marriott account. With those points, I
can actually go somewhere. I can have a
week or more in almost any city where Marriott has a property. It may not be their top of the line brand,
but I can go. And free means free. I can have a week in
Hawaii, or the Caribbean, or in most European cities on my points alone. No cash top-ups, fees, or additional taxes.. Those points were going to take care of the
accommodation part of the family holiday to Europe. Marriott was going to stand by me, as I have
by them, night after night of business traveling. They were going to be my family’s home away
from home on a vacation of a lifetime.
Until the whole thing got nixed.
Foiled again by Air Canada.
Usually they give me gas. Now
they want it back. Five grand worth.
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| Marriott...where free means free. |
Where’s Pythagoras when you need him? Or Angela Merkel…she’d get those fuel surcharges under
control.
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| Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, and also stimied at Air Canada's charging of the fuel surcharge on 'free' tickets. |
